I’ve come to quite a few conclusions during my time on this earth. I understand that I don’t have all the answers and I often find myself receiving advice…whether I asked for it or not. I’ve found though, that the unasked advice often come from those who are known by many names. Negative Nancys, Debbie Downers or their favorite names for themselves Realistic Randys. Some even believe they are being Truthful Tracys.
Maybe they are and maybe they aren’t. The thing is, the advice they give ALWAYS revolve around one thing. To stop you from believing that you can do something.
Now, in no way shape or form am I saying that you can do ANYTHING that you put your mind to or even that you SHOULD. I AM saying that for those dreams that CAN be a reality you have to be able to put the naysayers behind you. Why? Because there will ALWAYS be a naysayer. Always. Here are five types of naysayers you have to be aware of.
1) This is the most dangerous. They believe that YOU can’t do it because well, they weren’t able to. They are the most well meaning and that makes them the most dangerous.
2) Naysayer number two is the one who just never have anything positive to say. They are always this way about EVERYTHING.
3) Naysayer number 3 is the one who smiles in your face, tells you that what you’re doing is great, but then goes behind your back and talks badly about what you are trying to do. Now, I don’t care when people talk badly about me to others, but this one can actually make things harder for you. When you are trying to build, these are the ones who are drilling holes into your foundation. Be careful with these.
4) This person is the one who asks you questions. You know the ones I’m talking about. “But have you been there before? How do you know you will like it?” “How will you pay for housing? Food? Clothes, etc?” “You’re ok with just leaving everything you know?” “How do you know that you are even able to do that?” Questions when they come from a good place are always welcomed. They should always be welcomed, but when they are questions dealing with practicality or your own insecurities they are not coming from a well meaning place. They are coming from a place of disbelief and discouragement. Obviously, you are talking about this BECAUSE you have ALREADY done a significant amount of research. You are already aware of the possible set backs and it’s not their place to question your dreams. Always question the questioners with your own questions instead of giving answers. The less they know the less you will feel like you are defending your actions.
5) And finally number five. The one who challenges your right to ask for help. All dreamers throughout history have needed some help from somewhere. You are allowed to not have all the answers, or to choose a dream that seems impossible. You are not forcing anyone to help you, by asking. Don’t let someone tell you you are wrong for needing help to reach your goals.
In short, you will come across a lot of different people who don’t agree with what you are doing. They won’t give you the support you need and it’s your job, not to listen to the noise. To make sure you are, above all else, doing what is right for you. Sometimes you have to be selfish to have the life you want. And that’s ok. Do you know why? Becasue this is your life. No one but you knows what will make you truly soar. Listen to yourself and only accept questions and advice that makes you better, stronger, wiser. Anything else and it’s time to say bye bye!