Sucking at life, but not really..

You know what I’m talking about right? The feeling that nothing is right, but you really don’t have anything to complain about? I’m talking about the fact that day in and day out you are killing it at adulting, but something is wrong. 
Yeah, you have student loan and credit card debt, but your credit score is not in the Low 500’s anymore. Heck, you may have even reached the low 700’s at this point. You’ve busted your ass at school and graduated (finally) and landed that job that pays you a decent wage. – And when I say decent, I mean your company really appreciates the work you’re doing and they aren’t trying to rape you from behind with lowblow salaries.- You can afford that apartment in NYC that you always dreamed of living in AND you have enough to eat organic shit. *GASP*

You’ve come in to your own and when you talk to others who complain about millenials you flare up in righteous defense because hey, you’re a Millenial and you got your shit together…

Except, you’re still feeling like you don’t. You no longer think that being part of the work force is what you want. You no longer care about the apartment, salary, and organic food. You no longer care that you have become a productive member of society, because let’s be real, society has failed you far more often than you have failed it.

There’s a small voice inside of you urging you to let go of your fears. Let go of the invisible roadblocks around you. You want to travel. You want to fall in love with different cultures and people. You want to live a life full of opportunities that force your imagination and life force to grow. When belle from beauty and the beast sings “I want more than this provincial life!” you are wholeheartedly in agreement with her.

Yet, you can’t just stop living the right way. You can’t just give up your good job with health insurance, great pay and benefits. You can’t just let go of the apartment in NYC.  (cause God knows how down right hard it is too find great ones here in the location you want and that won’t break your bank account.) And seriously, you just started eating the right way!

So deep down inside, you know that even though you are successful, you are truly failing. You are failing to choose your voice over others. Yet again, you’ve taken the advice and wisdom of others suffering the same way. Instead of listening to the little voice begging to be heard, you suffocate it with a ruthfullness that scars you.

You continue to suck at life, while well, not sucking. I for one though am tired of it. I am so tired of it, that I am convinced that I have to make moves towards what I really want. I have to go towards what makes me thrive and become more human than I’ve ever been. I am over being a coward with my real dreams…

Are you?


Author: AquarianMomma89

I have intense feelings, but you won't often find me expressing them. My writing is where I feel like I can breathe just a little bit. My goal right now is to write, My ultimate goal is to write any where in the world I want to. (Maybe starting with Norway!)