Shades of brown

I like to write about mixed race couples in romances. Mostly black and white. Probably, because I enjoy being in those kinds of relationships. I also enjoy seeing them in the streets and I would love to see more of them in media.

The point of this post though isn’t to wax on about my love for mixed race romance. It’s about my discovery of the different shades of brown. I’m not one to brag, but I do know A LOT of shades of brown, but I was a little taken aback when I googled the color and it came back with so many variations. Of course I became overly excited and had to stop writing my description scene and write this post.

I am going to list the ones that stuck out the most to me. These are the ones I am sure I will use at some point in my writing. If not in this story then in the next. It’s actually got me to thinking that I should Google every color and write a post. I would call it shadysunday. Get it? whatever, It’s OK if you don’t, I never said I was great at titles. As a matter of fact that is actually a great weakness of mine. Anyway let’s get started!

Shades of brown

  1. Cafe noir
  2. Ochre
  3. Burnt umber
  4. Chocolate
  5. Beaver
  6. Bronze
  7. Sepia
  8. Russet
  9. Sunray
  10. Coffee
  11. Golden brown
  12. Almond
  13. Windsor tan 2
  14. Burlywood
  15. Seal brown
  16. Dark brown
  17. Raw umber
  18. Copper
  19. Chamoisee
  20. Bole
  21. Redwood
  22. Mahogany
  23. Cinnamon
  24. French puce
  25. Tawny
  26. Caramel
  27. Hickory
  28. Pecan
  29. Copper penny
  30. Deep amber

And an honorable mention goes to burnt and raw sienna. Seriously the next time you are stuck trying to figure out another way to say a color just google it. There will be enough new colors there that you will have no choice, but to write. haha.


Sucking at life, but not really..

You know what I’m talking about right? The feeling that nothing is right, but you really don’t have anything to complain about? I’m talking about the fact that day in and day out you are killing it at adulting, but something is wrong. 
Yeah, you have student loan and credit card debt, but your credit score is not in the Low 500’s anymore. Heck, you may have even reached the low 700’s at this point. You’ve busted your ass at school and graduated (finally) and landed that job that pays you a decent wage. – And when I say decent, I mean your company really appreciates the work you’re doing and they aren’t trying to rape you from behind with lowblow salaries.- You can afford that apartment in NYC that you always dreamed of living in AND you have enough to eat organic shit. *GASP*

You’ve come in to your own and when you talk to others who complain about millenials you flare up in righteous defense because hey, you’re a Millenial and you got your shit together…

Except, you’re still feeling like you don’t. You no longer think that being part of the work force is what you want. You no longer care about the apartment, salary, and organic food. You no longer care that you have become a productive member of society, because let’s be real, society has failed you far more often than you have failed it.

There’s a small voice inside of you urging you to let go of your fears. Let go of the invisible roadblocks around you. You want to travel. You want to fall in love with different cultures and people. You want to live a life full of opportunities that force your imagination and life force to grow. When belle from beauty and the beast sings “I want more than this provincial life!” you are wholeheartedly in agreement with her.

Yet, you can’t just stop living the right way. You can’t just give up your good job with health insurance, great pay and benefits. You can’t just let go of the apartment in NYC.  (cause God knows how down right hard it is too find great ones here in the location you want and that won’t break your bank account.) And seriously, you just started eating the right way!

So deep down inside, you know that even though you are successful, you are truly failing. You are failing to choose your voice over others. Yet again, you’ve taken the advice and wisdom of others suffering the same way. Instead of listening to the little voice begging to be heard, you suffocate it with a ruthfullness that scars you.

You continue to suck at life, while well, not sucking. I for one though am tired of it. I am so tired of it, that I am convinced that I have to make moves towards what I really want. I have to go towards what makes me thrive and become more human than I’ve ever been. I am over being a coward with my real dreams…

Are you?

The Bane of My Existence

There’s this thing that my daughter wanted. It’s called an LOL DOLL. She’s been asking for this thing since last year and let me tell you, I am very annoyed with MGA entertainment. 😑

The picture above is an image of the unopened LOL doll that I was finally able to get my hands on. You see, everytime I went online to find the thing it would say: available in stores only. Fine. I can dig it. Companies are trying to get people back into their storefronts. They’re not spending money on overhead so we can all go binge shopping online at 3am in the morning right? Plus, eBay was kidding itself with those prices. So, in the store I went.

The problem is, is that when I got to the store and it wasn’t available there either, it made me feel like throwing a tantrum…but I didn’t. You know why? Cause I’m an adult and we can’t throw tantrums…right? Sigh. 

Anyways. So guess who asked for something and didn’t get it? My kid. Which I’m not too upset about cause I figured it builds character. Teaches her a lesson that sometimes you can’t get everything you ask for. I was also pretty sure that like all the other toys, games and puzzles this would too be forgotten soon.

Except that it wasn’t. When Christmas rolled around and it was time for her to make her list there it was. I made her take it off. No way, was I going to try to find something that was hard to find during an off season, during Christmas. Absolutely not. Oh she was unhappy, but I made the right decision you know why? 

Cause it was sold out! So, parent for the win LOL DOLL! Did she stop asking for it? Short answer: No. Long answer: Noooooooooooooooooo. No she did not. It has been a long year. And it just started. 😑

So we tried again. For her birthday and this time we were successful! We found them on toys r us. For $10 a pop, but there is a caveat you can only buy two. TWO! Not a problem. Except, there are over 45 of these things to collect and this momma is giving up at two. Also at 10 bucks a pop, rainbows and butterflies better fall out when she unwraps them. 😒

Sigh. Then I think about how all of this started and realize, that youtube started this. My daughter has 3 t.v days. Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Really only Friday and Sunday cause we try to go out all day on Saturday. Anyway, that includes electronics. So she sometimes will go on the computer and find games to play on her t.v days.

And sometimes, she wants to watch these videos of grown women playing with new toys. That’s where she found out about the LOL DOLLS…ever since then, those grown women are banned from my house. BANNED. Lol. I wish I was kidding. I really don’t want another LOL DOLL situation on my hands. And that’s why they are the bane of my existence. 

Have you ever?

Have you ever just felt tired of being tired?

Have you ever wanted to break down and cry, but don’t cause it’s not worth it?

Have you ever questioned every decision you have ever made?

Have you ever wondered what you would be like if you had different parents?

Have you ever walked around this earth with the realization you are an adult orphan?

Have you ever just wished you could eat a meal without worrying about money?

Have you ever thought you were better than someone?

Have you ever felt like someone thought they were better than you?

Have you ever wished you were a completely different person?

Moana and why it is such a great movie!

I’m sure there have been plenty of positive reviews of this movie, but I think it is necessary for me to speak on this too! You see, I have a five year old and I often take her to see the newest Disney movie. We often enjoy ourselves, but there are a few times when I have not been impressed (I’m looking at you live action Cinderella).

Moana though, has found a permanent spot in my top Disney movies. She ALMOST usurped Beauty and the Beast, but that one is my all time favorite and nothing will ever change that. Hee Hee! Moana may not be a typical princess story, but that is what makes her so awesome.

I was most impressed with their dedication to incorporate so much of a culture into this movie. From the songs, the visuals, the slip-ins of the languages. There is so MUCH love and appreciation of the island culture. Every time she opened her mouth to sing, there was a sense of it coming from the very life of the Island. Listen, I know how crazy this sounds, but I’m telling you it was there.

I don’t cry often, but this movie touched my heart. I cried the first time I watched it with my daughter and every time she watches it, I have to fight the urge to cry again! This movie is about believing in yourself. Listening to your heart and following your dreams because sometimes those dreams are part of a bigger story. Always remember who you are and if you forget search your heart, your soul, your story! It’s ok to be afraid. It’s ok to want to give up, what matters is that you believe in yourself enough to know that you shouldn’t because you can do it!

Moana is full of inspiration, but it is expertly weaved through with comedy and VERY catchy tunes. Disney has definitely earned five stars for this new princess. I appreciate the effort that they are making to expand cultural awareness in this world. I also appreciate them making an effort to let children know around the world that they know who they are and that is what matters the most.