Working towards what?

I live in NYC. So naturally it costs a lot to live here. Here’s the thing though. I was born here, raised here, I know a thing or two about what life is really  supposed to be like here. So it irks me, I can’t lie, that I have to work two jobs to pay for my one bedroom apartment.

It irks me that a gallon of milk is more than 4 dollars or that the train costs 2.75 PER TRIP. (depending of course if you are able to use the transfer within the time limit.)

It irks me that I can’t afford to put my daughter in programs that are only once a week for 12 weeks because they cost more than my rent.I wouldn’t have a problem with the cost if they were GOOD programs. Even the mediocre ones cost that much…

So what is my point? Everyone, everywhere are struggling to make things happen. Except that isn’t the case. Elsewhere people do not need to work two jobs because their first job pays their bills if they budget correctly. Did you know that even if I budgeted (which I do) My rent takes all of my money. So now how do I pay the rest of my bills?

According to the government I am wayyyy above the poverty line, Yet I can’t afford to do anything except put a roof over our heads. Which is some thing, but so not enough. So I had to get a second job. A job in which I am essentially doing the same thing at my first job, but getting paid about 8 dollars less to give up my weekends.

My weekends in which I spent time with my five year old daughter and long term boyfriend (He is a topic for a different post) and now I hardly see her. I just lost my mother for gods sake!!! I just want my daughter to know me. How can she do that if I have to work always. I don’t have help not even from aforementioned boyfriend who lives with us and I can’t say that this will continue for very long.

I hate NYC. I hate my HOMETOWN. I hate it because it has become next to impossible for me to actually live here. It has made me so depressed. It has made me wish that I wasn’t me and I LOVE me. So, I’m putting this out to the universe, I need to leave my hometown. I need to leave so than I can live and see my daughter. I hope I can make this happen by this time next year. I can’t do it anymore.




Author: AquarianMomma89

I have intense feelings, but you won't often find me expressing them. My writing is where I feel like I can breathe just a little bit. My goal right now is to write, My ultimate goal is to write any where in the world I want to. (Maybe starting with Norway!)